How to Stay Cool When People Provoke You

Angry words just stir up more anger.

How do I respond when someone provokes me by inconsiderate, unkind, or disrespectful words or attitudes? To be honest, far too often in my life the answer to that question has been, “not well.”

Sometimes I’m provoked by friends or family or coworkers. It may even be a politician or media pundit on television. However it comes, my natural reaction when someone provokes my anger is to lash out at that person. But the Bible teaches a different response:

As these verses say, responding with harsh words when I’m provoked just stirs up more angry words and greater turmoil. So, I’m learning to be wise in the way I use my tongue — or keyboard!

Popping off at people who provoke me (even if they are on TV or the internet) may temporarily relieve my feelings, but it actually makes reaching solutions to the things that bother me harder. Angry exchanges hinder more than they help. When I stoke my anger by speaking or even thinking wrathful words toward others, I close my mind to them. Anger has no interest in seeing things from the other person’s point of view!

Even though the provocation may be real, responding with a soft answer is almost always best. If I allow my anger to spill out as harsh words, it’s very likely that the last part of verse 2 above will be a perfect description of me:

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